Alice walked along, her mind filled with images of the poor White Rabbit’s head, the Queen’s big hands, and the many curious things she had encountered. Then, just ahead, she spotted yet another curious pair — a Walrus and a Carpenter. She could tell the Carpenter was a carpenter by the nails sticking out of his mouth, the hammer in his hand and the word ‘carpenter’ on his hat. She could tell his companion was a Walrus because it had flippers and a big tuft of whiskers. The two of them were working on a tall wooden structure.
She watched them for a few minutes, then asked: “What are you building?”
“A wall,” said the Carpenter.
The Walrus elaborated: “A great big beautiful wall.”
“Whatever for?” Alice asked.
“To keep out rapists and murderers,” said the Carpenter.
“You don’t seem to have gotten very far with it,” Alice said, sitting down on a rock.
“Donaldland wasn’t built in a day, you know,” said the Walrus.
“I think it’s Rome that wasn’t built in a day,” Alice suggested.
“That’s why we’re building the wall,” snapped the Carpenter. “To keep out the Romans and rapists and murderers from shithole countries.”
“That’s not a very nice word,” said Alice.
“Which word?”
The second one from the — you know which word I mean. The icky one.”
“I’m afraid she’s right,” said the Walrus. “Shithole countries has been walked back.”
“Walked back?”
“The Queen has a very high IQ,” the Walrus continued. “And big hands and a big — “
“Heart,” Alice parroted.
“But the Queen sometimes uses the wrong words. And so we walk them back to where he never said them.”
“Isn’t that revisionist?” Alice suggested.
“That’s a very big word for a very little girl,” said the Carpenter.
“Well, I’m usually a lot bigger. I’m just having a small day.”
“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “to talk of other things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and queens.”
“Wouldn’t king make a better rhyme,” Alice asked.
“The Queen doesn’t like that word; it reminds him of his predecessor, and that annoys him.”
“Why?”
“In the second place, he was born in one of those places we walked back,” said the Walrus.
“In the last place, he had funny ears and a funny name,” said the Carpenter.
“What about first place?” asked Alice.
“If he were a horse, he’d be a horse of a different color,” the Walrus and Carpenter chimed together. “Pardon us, but we must get back to our wall or the Queen will have our heads.”
Incoming tweet: “A beautiful wall. Tall wall from C to shining C. I want my wall NOW! NOW!! NOW!!! Undesirables pouring in. Rapists, murderers. Murderers, rapists. BILD WALL!”
Tomorrow same time, same place — a caterpillar has a press conference.
Wretched Richard's Almanac 