Cleopatra’s needle is not really a needle. Nor did it belong to Cleopatra. It is actually an obelisk, which at some 70 feet is a lot longer than most needles. This tall hunk of granite was first erected by Egypt’s Thutmose III in 1450 BC, give or take a few years. It was erected once again in London on September 12, 1878, after a rather curious 3,000-year history.
The obelisk was moved from its first site at Heliopolis to Alexandria during the reign of Augustus Caesar. It was toppled several years later by persons unknown and left face down in the shifting, whispering sands. After the obelisk lay there, collecting dust for 2,000 years, the Egyptian ruler Muhammad Ali came up with a great idea — they’d give it to the British in commemoration of some battle or another. And so they did, in1819.
The Brits were tickled, of course, but they let the big gift lie there for another 58 years, not quite tickled enough to foot the bill for a trip to England. Finally a private citizen agreed to pay for its transportation in a specially built ship named coincidentally, the Cleopatra, towed by another ship, the Olga. A storm at sea almost put a disastrous end to the venture, as the Cleopatra began rocking violently. Six men were killed trying to bring the her under control, and she was finally reported “abandoned and sinking.”
But Cleo didn’t sink. She was found drifting four days later by Spanish trawlers, then towed to Spain by a Glasgow steamer. Several months later, after repairs, she was finally towed to England where the was erected on the Victoria Embankment, flanked by two faux sphinxes.
Voila!, He Barked
On a beautiful afternoon in 1940, un chien Francaise named Robot was out for a walk in the Dordogne region of southwestern France, sans leash. Monsieur Dog, skipping away from his handler, 18-year-old
Marcel, found himself a big beautiful hole in the ground. Naturally, he bounded right in, not giving a moment’s thought to the enormity of the hole and the possible enormity of the creature who might have dug it.
Robot returned from the depths of the hole, uneaten, and Marcel sought the aid of some fellow teenagers to explore the hole. The four boys entered the hole, not giving a moment’s thought to the possibility that the creature found Robot too small a snack to be bothered with.
The hole stretched for 65 feet, qualifying itself as a cave, with not a single creature in it. These boys discovered that some other naughtier boys appeared to have painted graffiti all over the walls. Being good boys, and wondering if they should somehow wash down the walls, they sought adult guidance.
Well, didn’t the graffiti turn out to be 17,000 to 20,000 years, some 2,000 images of animals and strange prehistoric symbols that became famous as the Lascaux cave paintings But not one dog in the whole bunch. Robot remained unimpressed.
Wretched Richard's Almanac 