A Tea Party

As it turned out, it didn’t matter which path she took because she came to a clearing with a large table, and both the Hatter and the Hare were crowded into one corner. A Dormouse sat on the table between them fast asleep, and they were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it.. “No room,” they cried out as Alice approached.

“There’s plenty of room,” said Alice indignantly, sitting down at one end of the table.

“Did you bring your birth certificate?” the March Hare asked.

“Of course not,” said Alice.

“Then how do we know you were born?”

“Because I’m here,” answered Alice.

“I’m not convinced,” said the March Hare. “Have some wine.”

Alice looked all around the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.

“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare. “And there’s no free lunch. No handouts. Fend for yourself. Take care of number one.”

“Your budget wants cutting,” said the Hatter. This was his first speech. “Why is welfare like a writing desk?”

“Oh good, riddles,” said Alice. “I think I can guess that.”

“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer?” said the March Hare.

“Yes.”

“Then you should say what you mean.”

“I do,” said Alice. “At least I mean what I say. It’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same at all,” said the Hatter. “you might as well say ‘I grab who I please’ is the same as ‘I please who I grab.'”

“That sounds like the Queen,” said Alice. “I give up. Why is welfare like a writing desk?“

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

Alice sighed. “I think you might better spend your time than wasting it asking riddles that have no answers.”

“Spend, spend,” said the Hatter. “Tax and spend. That’s all you liberals do.”

Tomorrow, same time, same place — the party continues.