Alice stood at a crossroads, wondering which way she ought to go. As she pondered, she spotted a large Cat on the branch of a tree a few feet away, grinning at her. She had never known a Cat to grin before and didn’t even know a Cat could grin. It looked rather good-natured, but it had very long claws and a great many teeth so Alice thought it wise to treat the Cat with respect.
“What sort of cat are you?” Alice asked. “You must be happy, smiling like that.”
“I’m a Cheshire, “answered the Cat. “And I always smile.”
“Cheshire? Wouldn’t that make you a cheese?”
“Have you ever seen a cheese smile?”
“I guess not. Well Mr. Cheshire Cat, sir, I wonder if you might tell me which way to go?”
“That depends a great deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where — “
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
” — so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added.
“You’re bound to do that, if you walk long enough.”
That seemed logical enough to Alice, so she continued: “What sort of people live around here?”
“In that direction lives a Hatter,” the Cat said, pointing. “And in that direction lives a March Hare. Visit either; they’re both mad.”
“Oh dear, I don’t want to go among mad people.”
“You can’t help that. We’re all mad in Donaldland. I’m mad, you’re mad.”
“What makes you think I’m mad?”
“You must be,” said the Cat. “Or you wouldn’t have come here.”
“I got here quite by accident,” said Alice. “What
Speaking of which, are you going to play golf with the Queen today?”
“I should like to,” said Alice. “But I haven’t been invited.”
“Oh you needn’t be invited. All that’s required is signing a nondisclosure agreement.”
“What would I not be disclosing?”
“Oh I can’t disclose that.”
“Just remember,” the Cat said, his grin wider than ever, “The Queen has big hands, and he cheats.”
And with that the Cat vanished.
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