After Alice had walked for a little while, she heard the pattering of footsteps in the distance and wondered what sort of strange person or animal she might meet this time. It was the White Rabbit, coming toward her, looking about anxiously.
“Oh my dear paws,” the White Rabbit muttered. “Oh my fur and whiskers! The Queen will have me executed, as sure as foreigners are foreigners. Where can I have dropped my gloves?”
The White Rabbit finally noticed Alice and said: “Why are you just standing there? Help me find my gloves. I can’t go to the press briefing without my gloves.”
Alice looked around for a pair of gloves as the White Rabbit continued wailing: “First I recuse myself, now this. The Queen will have my head for sure.”
“I don’t think I understand what exactly recusing oneself is.”
“Of course, you don’t. You’re a girl.”
Alice was getting quite tired of such talk and she replied: “I’ll have you know I’m smarter than any . . . any . . . dumb bunny.”
“Recusing oneself,” the White Rabbit continued, ignoring her outburst, “is very much like excusing oneself. Recuse, excuse. For instance you would say ‘excuse me’ when leaving the room. But if you said ‘recuse me,’ you would stay in the room and just pretend you weren’t there. See?”
“I suppose.”
“I’m pretending that I’m not paying any attention to the White Knight’s terrible, terrible Witch Hunt because of a conflict of interest. I suppose you know what that is?”
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”
“A conflict of interest is when I’m very interested in what’s going on in the room, but I’m pretending that I’m not.”
“Why is the White Knight hunting for a witch?”
“The White Knight and his mob of 23 sinister democreeps are looking for Collusion, Delusion, Obstruction, Distraction, and Multiplication.”
“I don’t know about all those other things, but your gloves are under that little bush over there. “
The White Rabbit scooped up his gloves and ran off without even a thank you or goodby.
Incoming tweet: “White Knight and HORDE of 35 PERNICIOUS democreeps. Worst witch hunt in history. Let me say this about that: I am not a witch!”
Tomorrow, same time, same place — a walrus and a carpenter
Wretched Richard's Almanac 