SEPTEMBER 1, 1422: WHO’S GOING TO BURP THE KING?

On September 1, 1422, young Henry VI crawled (or perhaps toddled) onto the throne of England, succeeding his father Henry V. Little Henry was nine months old, a rather tender age to be an English monarch and, a few months later, King of France as well. A regency council ran the kingdoms until Henry hit 16 and was considered old enough to rule.

Kinging two countries isn’t a piece of cake. First off, its a killer commute, usually undertaken only by one country to invade the other. The French were not overjoyed at being ruled by an Englishman.  And one of them, Joan of Arc, was making a real nuisance of herself. Eventually Henry lost France and fell into a deep funk followed by an “inertia.” To use a more scientific description, he went wacko. (Observant readers will notice the inescapable connection between this incident and the Pat Boone hit song: When I lost France, I almost lost my mind.)

When Henry recovered 18 months later, he was surprised to discover he had a toddler of his own and that the toddler was named Edward, not Henry. Oh, and the War of the Roses was getting underway, during which Henry would lose the throne, regain it, lose it again, and end up murdered.

Henry VI remains the youngest king to ascend to the British throne and the only monarch to be both King of England and King of France.

TARZAN WOULDN’T LOSE FRANCE

Tarzan_of_the_Apes_1918Born on September 1, 1875, Edgar Rice Burroughs enjoyed a successful career as a pencil sharpener salesman. An honest occupation, but what do you do when you’re on the road, stuck in some cheesy motel with a bunch of sharp pencils? You either see how many you can fit into your ears or you write. Burroughs wrote. Prodigiously. In 1912, his most famous creation swung through a jungle near you in Tarzan of the Apes. And he kept on swinging through the decades, in two dozen books, including a few released after Burroughs’ death in 1953.

Tarzan was born with the rather ho-hum name, John Clayton. It was the apes who gave him the name we know him by. In their language (yes, they speak) tar means white, and zan means skin: Tarzan, clever, what? And Tarzan didn’t just swing around the jungle, as a short list of Tarzan adventures will demonstrate: Tarzan at the Earth’s Core, Tarzan and the Huns, Tarzan and the Foreign Legion, Back to the Stone Age, and Tarzan Rescues the Moon.

Tarzan became the star of radio, television, comics, stage, video and computer games, action figures and over 200 movies. Elmo Lincoln was the first of a whole gaggle of Tarzans which included Johnny Weissmuller, Buster Crabbe, and Lex Barker.  Burroughs didn’t like any of them.  And he didn’t like Enid Markey, the original Jane.  In fact, he disliked her performance so much that he killed Jane off in his next story.

tar4

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

This famous quote did not appear in either the original books or any of the movies.  Johnny Weissmuller uttered the words as a joke in an interview.

Me Paul, you Huey

If only I’d known it was available

Pencil it in to your copy wherever it seems appropriate.  Don’t have a copy?  Fix that here.

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A writer of fiction and other stuff who lives in Vermont where winters are long and summers as short as my attention span.

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